FAQ: How Do I Know If My Agent Is a Douche?

Amy L. from Los Angeles asks: How do I know if my agent is doing a good job? What can I expect?

God did not create all agents equally, and likewise no two clients need exactly the same thing from their agent. So having a good working relationship is as much about the right fit as anything else. If you can communicate easily with your agent and you feel he or she is responsive, then you’re ninety percent of the way there.

I would think the basic services include:

• Editorial feedback on the proposal or novel, readying it for submission.
• Keeping you apprised of the submission process, including which editors are considering, how many, the game plan, handling rejections, parlaying interest into an auction.
• Removing sharp objects from your medicine chest if the book doesn’t sell.
• If it does, negotiating your contract.
• At least one good lunch.
• Exploit ancillary rights such as audio, film, translation, etc.
• Read the manuscript when it’s done, or in stages as you write.
• Run interference if there is a breakdown in communication between you and your editor/publisher.
• Generate ideas , where possible, to promote/support the publication.
• Attend the book party and/or reading. (I’ve been in the doghouse for failing to make a few parties. C’mon, I live in New Haven!)
• Again, remove sharp objects if the book sinks without a trace.
• Brainstorm new ideas for your next book.

Guess which agent went on to become a star of stage and screen, or more precisely an author, an hilarious fixture on the Jon Stewart Show, and a shill for Apple?