Betsy Lerner

I Hate To Turn Up Out Of the Blue, Uninvited

betsylerner — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:57:06 +0000

Do you read the Garnet Hill catalogue and think your life might be nice if you were the one really pretty teacher in a large public school? Are you lying to yourself about your desire for fame? Did you remember your father’s birthday, now seven years gone? Are you constantly hungry? Do you think you saw Paul Mckenna and realized it wasn’t Paul McKenna and tried to recall what did or didn’t happen with Paul all those years ago. A Lean Cuisine and a wank. And always the city with her anonymous embrace. All the faces you can’t recall, and then a line of young children in bright puffy jackets holding on to loops on a rope so as not to get lost. Cue danger. Stop crying. This is your brain not on drugs. This is your beautiful house. Do not write this down unless you want to forget.

Tell me one thing.

Hey, Hey, Mama, Said the Way You Move, Gonna Make You Sweat, Gonna Make You Groove.

betsylerner — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 04:35:51 +0000

I feel like saying something that might be unpopular, but I don’t believe that “characters write themselves,” that they “have minds of their own,” that they “do things you didn’t expect,” etc. To me that’s like saying a marionette moves his own strings, that an onion peels its own layers, or a nose picks itself. Writers say things like this to me all the time and I struggle to understand. For me the whole joy of writing is being the great and mighty Oz. It is true that sometimes, in the writing, aspects of story or character reveal themselves. But to my mind that’s from years of practice like developing the ability to see many chess moves ahead, or playing a riff like Jimmy Page.

Do your characters act on their own volition?

Just A Memory Without Anywhere to Stay

betsylerner — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 04:11:16 +0000

Got another query letter from prison today. It comes stamped on the back with a notice about what to do if you are receiving unwanted correspondence from an inmate. This particular prisoner quoted some of the best bits in The Forest For The Trees to impress upon me why I might like his work. Many writers have done this, but when it comes from the incarcerated it is unbelievably touching and a little scary. The letter was also hand written in the neatest imaginable block letters. Maybe I’ve seen Dead Man Walking too many times, but it amazes me to think that my book has found its way into a prison and a person there who wants or needs to write connected with it. I once read that a prisoner who was denied pencil and paper wrote sentences on the roof of his mouth with his tongue.

Did everybody write today? And if not, why not?

The First Cut is the Deepest

betsylerner — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:36:38 +0000

My submission strategy appears to be largely unsuccessful, though appearances can be deceiving. A small press has recently accepted one of my books for publication. This will be my first published book. --Tetman

Come on everybody, give it up for Tetman. One of our tribe just got a book deal. Come on, Tetman, tell us all about your first time. HOw old were when you lost your publishing virginity? Is it everything you imagined, are you all look both ways before crossing the street or have you already figured out how you will be discovered as a fraud? How many submissions did it take? What would you differently? Will it be a book book, ebook, or droid implanted in my thigh. What’s it about? Tetfuckingman! I am so happy for you.

What was your first time like, book or whatever.

Let’s Go All the Way Tonight NO Regrets Just Love

betsylerner — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:13:46 +0000

Dear Ms. Lerner,

If you offer a literary agent an exclusive submission without a deadline/end date, how long should a writer wait before submitting elsewhere? Should the submitter notify the agent? The agent and author have no previous contact or professional connections.

Many thanks, NAME WITHHELD

Dear Exclusive:

What is wrong with this picture? You are assuming that the agent cares that you made an exclusive submission. If the agent asked you for an exclusive or makes exclusivity a condition of submission then he or she should get back to you in a timely fashion. What is a timely fashion? This is up for debate. I would say 3-6 weeks or a full length manuscript. But if there is no relationship between you and the agent, then there is no need to make the submission exclusive, or to think that by making it exclusive the manuscript will be attended to more quickly. This should be filed under magical thinking. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: make multiple submissions. Some writers get nervous and ask what happens if more than one agent wants it. What happens is you get to choose.

What is your submission strategy?

I’m Not One Of Those Who Can Easily Hide

betsylerner — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 04:02:22 +0000

I am on empty.

I am getting in bed with Blood Meridian and calling it a day after I put on my creams.

How do you refuel?

Girl, You Really Got Me Going

betsylerner — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 04:41:15 +0000

Today is publication date for Eli Gottlieb’s THE FACE THIEF. I just got home from his publication party which was fantastic, which means I didn’t spill wine down my shirt, didn’t blank on people’s names, didn’t raid the medicine chest (I am reformed!), made a toast that didn’t sound like Linda Blair in the exorcist, and shared a quip in the elevator with an editor from a glossy magazine before I hailed a cab and disappeared down Lexington Avenue into a clear city night, the kind I used to love, cold, sharp, and anonymous. But this isn’t about me.

Please treat yourself and read this psychological thriller for the tight, dovetailed structure, for the enigmatic femme fatale at its center, and two men who are her mark. Read it for sentences so good you’ll want to reread them, but the plot will compel you to keep moving forward. Congrats, Eli.

I’ve Done My Sentence But Committed No Crime

betsylerner — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:42:53 +0000

IS THIS LIKE A PUBLISHER’S SWEEPSTAKES SORT OF THING? Was I born yesterday? Do I have to write a check to get in? Wear pork chops around my neck to get the dog to play with me? Is this a gateway award that will lead to crack or oxycontin? Did I ever mention that I won a poetry prize in high school and there was an awards ceremony in Hartford and I wore a hunter green plaid skirt cut on the bias. Tell me about everything you’ve ever won or wanted to win. Badly.

Congratulations Betsy,

You’ve been selected as a nominee for our Top Writing Blogs Award!

The Top Writing Blogs Award was created to provide students with a collection of helpful and encouraging blogs from authors, publishers, book reviewers, writing experts, and talented bloggers. We have included nominees that will inspire and teach our student readers to find their writing style and improve their skills, whether the students are writing an essay for Composition 101 or starting their first novel.

eCollegeFinder, an established online education resource representing over 120 accredited online institutions, began hosting a series of Top Blogger Awards in early 2010. Our goal in hosting the awards is to enrich students while giving high-quality blogs the recognition they deserve. Award winners are listed on our site; you can view the awards we’ve given in the past at https://www.ecollegefinder.org/award-series.aspx.

To accept this honor, please confirm the following and provide us with the information we’re missing by replying to this email before January 17, 2011.

· Your Name: Betsy Lerner
· Your Blog’s Name: the Forest for the Trees
· Your Blog’s URL: http://betsylerner.wordpress.com/

Also, we’d like to know in 2-4 Sentences each…

· How would you describe your blog to readers of our site?
· What advice can you offer students aiming to improve their writing acumen?

While not a requirement to win the award, we encourage you to create a student-targeted blog post to correspond with your answer to the latter question. If you compose a post directed towards our readers for the competition, please email us the URL so that we may link to it from our published list if you are chosen as a winner.

Thank you again for participating and I wish you luck in being named as one of the Top Writing Blogs for eCollegeFinder! Please let us know if you have any questions about the award series or if you have any colleagues that you’d like to nominate for the award as well. Hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

If You Don’t Know Me By Now (redux)

betsylerner — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 02:01:05 +0000

I’ve now heard from three of my four readers about the script. The feedback was better than I had hoped for, especially from the youngest and toughest critic. He thought the action was suspenseful. The script tight. He was really flattering. There was only one problem: the main character. He hated him. Everybody hates him. I think I probably hate him. He’s a shit. He’s in pain. So what. I don’t have the first clue as to how to rewrite him. He’s that guy that people hate, mostly because his life looks so easy and he’s smart and good looking. Maybe I should give him a pair of glasses.

How do you rewrite a character? Or do you just have to kill him? Dig a hole?

All Those Dreams We Held So Close Seemed To All Go Up In Smoke

betsylerner — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:14:51 +0000

Some comments lately have noted that my blog is more negatively cast than my book, FOrest for the Trees. They should have seen the first draft of the book. My editor covered the margins with her blue pencil saying the same thing over and over: too negative, too dark, too pessimistic, and my all time favorite, “why would anyone want to read this?” LOL! Actually, at the time, I was pissed and hurt. Wasn’t I a realist, after all? I never promised you a rose garden. For every happy writer there are thousands working in obscurity, collecting rejection slips, miserable and anguish-filled. And in my experience even so called successful writers can hit a patch of black ice and wind up in a ditch, shattered and stuck and totally fucked. This is not a game for the faint of heart. You need guts, courage, talent, wit, cunning, stamina. You need to be smart and clever, handsome and strong, or strange and winsome. You need to have bad teeth and habits, a flat ass and corns. You need to be the ugliest person in the room and proud of your penis. I’m sure you need a waist coat and velvet slippers. You need to love women and carry chap stick and run a never ending ticker tape of words inside your noggin.

I made the book nicer because I wanted to get it published (yes, you can stick to your guns). And I also saw what she was talking about. Mortals do need hope. But this blog is me, straight up. If you want nice, buy a Hallmark card.